FUCKED.

well, trainings been going alright for me.
my trainer, narelle, said that i was going good and i should be fine for the piercings.
i dont really feel as confident but i think if i just keep a clear mind, i should be alright for the real thing.
so we're starting our piercings on tuesdaytomorrow.
im kinda excited and nervous at the same time.
i dont wanna fuck someones piercing up!
i was going to put up an advertorial for the free piercings on my blog but practically all the spots are booked up for the week alr, so theres not much point.
i think jacki and i are getting our piercings done first on tuesdaytomorrow.
jill was supposed to get something done but shes not sure what she wants done..
so i said id get something done instead in her place.

ive always wanted some industrials and a helix-inner conch vertical industrial.
i cant decide between just two industrials or one industrial with a vertical industrial, so i might just get all four.
but we arent doing industrials yet so i might ask narelle if she could do mine for me.
i hope she agrees..
i think jacki will be doing my vertical snakebites.

guess thats all im looking forward to for this week.

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im feeling so motherfucking sick of everything.
okay, not really everything; esp not training.
its mostly my studies..
its really affecting me and causing a strain.
i just think im really not in the right frame of mind.
fuck fuck fuck why do i have to fucking fuck every fucking thing up?
sigh im really feeling so fucked up.
this issue has been on my mind for months now..
i dont think ive ever been so affected.
i wish i could just call jona and speak to him, but hes having field camp.
well even if he wasnt, hed still be booked in and slping alr.
maybe hes alr sick of my going on abt it, since i havent really done anything to change the situation.
im so sick of thinking abt it.
i kinda know what to do, but i dont think i can.
fuck.
this is so fucked up.
i dont wanna have to think abt it.
i just wanna see jona i miss him so much then i can say goodbye.

♥ 01:46;