kinda bored now.
hardingham isnt around anymore so we can basically do whatever we want to.
school was alright today.
not so ngon anymore i guess.
hopefully i ll feel better over time.
ah gtg.
erins calling me already.

♥ 15:03;

sigh.
i guess you were wrong jay.
not all guys think alike perhaps.
i dont know.
i jes know that im sad,although i kinda expected it anyways.
what else can i do?
guess thats it.


.did you hear my heart shatter into a million pieces.

♥ 21:15;

sun yat faai lok dai lou fong!


friday, 270804
had bball again after school.
it was so damn cold when i went to school.
finally scored some during the match but was having butter fingers.
couldnt catch any passes man!
we lost again but at least we scored 26(:
stayed back with stephanie,erin,agnes and justina to watch the U-17 and U-19 boys play.
it was great hhaha.
left together with kim after the game.
waited for the freaking bus for more than 30 mins before walking to another bus stop.
wanted to walk to murdoch park n ride actually.
it was so fucking cold!
in the end we called ley and he was so nice to come and get us!
kims aunt picked him up or something.
thanks ley!
caught the bus to city and there were these two fucking farangs on the bus.
idiotic bitches.
went down to northbridge and ate at kimchee house.
wanted to play pool after that but there wasnt any tables so we went over to utopia.
ended up in a room singing.
left at 0300h and caught a taxi home.
i was so blur and kept ending up in the wrong place.


saturday, 280804
woke up pretty late.
got changed about 1800h to meet the rest.
by the time i went to northbridge,the rest had had dinner and some of them had already left first.
so it was adi,pam,jay,thames,me,erin,agnes,may and isaac.
jays friend and ning joined us later.
erin sang till her throat was so sore.
hahha.
this time erin and i could sing 'hao xin fen shou' cos i had printed out the han yu pin yin for it.
it was a fun night!
left at 0300h cos gifs bro could give me a lift.


sunday, 290804
had to wake up early to meet erin and agnes.
met them at 1200h instead.
met up with jay,pam,adi and steph for dim sum.
it was really good and everyone was so full.
well at least i was..
walked around after eating to get rid of the fullness.
almost went ktving again but decided not to in the end.
goodness,its becoming a habit.
went shopping in city instead.
jay looks good in almost everything man!
hahha.
ill try and go shopping with you another day okk agnes?
was so tired after that so we went to a cafe and had drinks.
went to jaws but found out that they were closing at 1800h and it was already 1755h when we walked in.
so we jes decided to go home instead.


tiring weekend.
went to the uni gym today and my face got smashed by a baseball.
hahhaha.
it was kinda funny cos jay was in such shock.
and this may pulled soooo much toilet paper for my bleeding nose.
jay,tae and safone were all in the girls toilet.
good thing no one else came in.
i didnt even know what hit me cos it happened so fast and my face jes felt numb.
did a little shooting after that then chatted with jay.
played a little squash [its so tiring] and watched the guys play.
quek sent us home after that.
going for bball at the uni gym tomorrow.
need to improve on my everything.

♥ 20:04;

better start updating again.
anyways today was a good day.
i was happy.
hahha.
cos of last night as well as today.
feeling tired already.
maybe i ll sleep early tonight.


friday, 200804
played bball.
lost damn damn badly hahha.
he didnt play cos he was sick.
went to kimchi house to eat after that.
and he was eating next door.
then went down to pot black as he was leaving.
played a couple of games.
a few pple left but erin and i stayed cos winson could fetch us back.
thanks for the ride!
such a sweet guy hahas.
we kinda got lost at bambangs place.


saturday, 210804
texted sac and changed to go to northbridge.
met jay and sac first and went up to the ktv.
slowly everyone started coming in.
sang,sang,sang then went tp pot black for a lil while.
he was cute.
hahha.
they [stef,him & ralph or something] left.
we went back.
while singing,he called.
they joined us.
sang more.
they left.
more pple left.
then only left me,pam and erin.
sang from 2100-0300h!
we went to pot black and played a couple of games.
went to mackers then headed to pams pad.
thanks for your place pam!
slept there and i went home in the afternoon but they went for dim sum.


sunday, 220804
basically rested at home hahas.


yupps.
brief update of my weekend.
didnt know ktving was so fun haahha.
but the jap-styled room was kinda painful for the arse.
he was complaining as well(:


tuesday, 240804
went up to murdoch uni.
it wasnt really a uni day but more like propaganda for the uni.
suck shit man.
i chose health science and media.
toured the place a lil.
even ran under the rain.
ate at asian food.
headed down to the uni gym after that and worked on defence for bball.
cos our team is really crap,thanks to moi.
yupp that was yesterday and today was good.


i hope youre right jay..
i would be stoked!
and thanks for always listening to me.
i really appreciate it.
although you prolly have fun listening right?
ahah.
well better get now if i wanna sleep early.

♥ 22:51;

ARGH!
my fucking mp3 player is spoilt again!
fuckfuckfuck


i shouldve been happy but somehow i wasnt.
in fact,i was even sadder i think.
i seriously dont know whats wrong with me.
jes feel this overwhelming sensation.
feels like im gonna burst.
could you be right jay?

♥ 21:08;

1.To Those Who Are SINGLE


Love is like a butterfly . The more you chase it , the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts , but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.


2.To Those Who Are Taken


Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person." It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.


3.To Those Who Are e PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE


Never say "I love you" if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart . Never look in the eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways...


4.To Those Who Are MARRIED


Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry." Not "where are you", but "I'm right here." Not "how could you", but "I understand." Not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are."


5.To Those Who Are ENGAGED


The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.


6.To Those Who Are HEARTBROKEN


Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them .


7.To Those Who Are NAIVE


How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.


8.To Those Who Are POSSESSIVE


It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.


9.To Those Who Are AFRAID TO CONFESS


Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.


10.To Those Who Are STILL HOLDING ON


A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.....


ripped this off yan and yens blog..
guess number 1 and 9 applies to me.
although he already knows hhaha.
sigh
i jes feel so empty inside.
feel like im brain dead and jes an empty vessel.
im hearing what you pple say but im not listening and processing anything.
cos i know what you all say wont turn out to be true anyways.
everyone thinks differently and he is another individual.
he may not think the way you think he does.
i wish he did,but the facts are there.
i really dont know what to do.
argh
im crapping.

♥ 18:02;

feeling kinda tired now.
my right arm hurts cos i played badminton at the uni gym jes now.
im so useless!
play a little badminton also buay tahan already.
terrible..


there were alotta pple at the gym cos we had to wear our sports uniform to school.
so we didnt have to change and could go directly.
played a little pool and chatted with friends also.
sigh.
thanks for all the encouragement today but i really think i might as well give up.
its no use.
..):
so damn sad.


going to play bball after school tomorrow.
think im slowly liking it more again.
hopefully ill get better at it!


have loads of work to do..
but jes too lazy to start on anything.
aahhhh.
if i dont start soon im gonna die.


guess thats all.
gonna go and dwell in my sadness.

♥ 21:26;

ive blogged every single day for the past..7 days?
cool..
hahha.


woke up late today and slept some more in the afternoon.
i actually have loads of work to do but not in the mood.
ill have to pia over the next week.
suck shit man.


why is it soooooo unfair!
im still harping on the fact that everyone has someone else and i have no one!
its so bloody unfair!
am i not good enough?
do i have to be so damn pretty,have the body of a model and a heart of a saint?
what in the world is wrong?!
all i want is you.
that is all i ask.
.sobs.


well since tomorrow is the start of a new week,ive decided not to blog or talk about him anymore.
sorry if ive embarrassed you in any way at all.
it was not my intention.
i jes hope that we ll continue being friends.
i dont want to harp on all this anymore.
its too hurtful and everything.
i like you loads but i guess i ll never be good enough for you.
thats it.


cant you see my bleeding heart
its slowly breaking apart
to be shattered into a million pieces
into the darkness
.
nice?
i made it up(:

♥ 23:53;

jes got home from city.
it was a pretty fun night but my throat is sore now..
hahha.
didnt get to meet kim though):


saw the U-17 and U-19 guys play bball at lakeside yesterday.
it was great man!
kim was so fast and so good wahhahha.
and im not being biased here..
the U-19 team was really good.
real fast team with good communication skills.
its really funny when you hear them cursing the other team in canto.
and they have taller players as well.
hahah.
joe is quite a good player and bambang intercepted quite a number of balls.
but kim was really good((:


err.
kinda forgot what i wanted to write.
nvm.
will blog it if i remember.


oh and i was kinda pissed yesterday cos of some idiots in the LT.
and cos i found out that he knows already.
guess i was more sad than angry about that point.
i didnt even have to tell him anything..
sigh.
nvm.
if its not meant to be,then itll never be.

♥ 08:29;

happy birthday pam!
cool to have your birthday on friday the 13th(:


i am in a

BAD

mood today.
sorry to those like dan and joe were suffered cos of that.
so ngon ngon!


.我会学着放弃你 是因为我太爱你.

♥ 16:23;

feeling really tired now.
jes got on the comp to print out my exp.15 which was due on wednesday.
went for dinner at some italian restaurant jes now with tag 18 & 15,then went for the play.
which was Great!
hahha.
might elaborate more tomorrow.
need to get some sleep now.


.ineedyouineedyouido.

♥ 23:30;

happy birthday robin!
its finally legal for you to have sex now(:


today was..another disaster.
well,sort of anyways.
managed to talk to my dim sum boy cos of erin.
hahhaha thats what my mom calls him.
so ya,guess must thank her.
thanks erin..


saw him quite a lot today.
with stupid thames and zi yang laughing away in their econs class.
dumb dicks.
i dont know if all this is helping things,or making things worse.
hope its the former.


jes remembered that im supposed to go play bball tomorrow.
and im going for the tag outing.
so i have to be back in school by 1630h.
which means maybe 15 mins or bball only.
hopefully we dont have a game on friday so i can watch the guys game instead.
cos kim is playing!


my STUPID dog milki bit my ear piece AGAIN!
its about the 4th time shes done that already.
she is such a bitch.
i mean ya she really is one since bitch=female dog,but really!
such a fuktard.
now i have to use some retarded ear phones for my mp3 player.
so damn annoying!


guess thats all.


.missingyouandwantingyou.

♥ 22:11;

in school right now.
in forensic detectives cc.
nothing to do..


arggh.
i think he knows already.
practically everyone knows about it!
and i still havent said anything cos i dont have the guts to yet.
b.l.e.a.h
everyone was so noisy jes now.
didnt know where to put my face,so i put my face in the toilet bowl.NOT!
so STUPID!
i love kimmmmm -- courtesy of ning


ning says hi!


everyones going through blogs now.
friendster is under maintainence..


ning is bored so she says hi again :))))

♥ 15:18;

happy 39th birthday singapore!


the singaporeans wore tattoos of the flag on their faces,necks and hands today.
even isaac,tae,mark and winson who arent singaporeans wore them.
hahhas.
my tag teacher vecchio even thought i was donning the malaysian flag.
dumb fag.


and i got a cert of merit!
wahhaha.
think its prolly the first time ive ever recieved an award for academic stuffs.
but vecchio wants to give it out during the tag dinner.
bleah.


i really need to get it off my chest.
im suffocating under this load.
going to try tomorrow..
will you accept it,
or will i regret it?


arrrrrghhh


gtg sleep now.

♥ 23:54;

using the bloggar programme to see if it does work.
then i wont have to log on to the site to blog everytime.


thursday,05 august 2004
erin dragged me to the uni gym to see the guys play bball.
good thing i went in the end cos he was there!
hahhas.
spoke jes a little to him only..
but i was still happy(:
its really interesting to watch the guys play bball,cos their game is so fast and there are so many tricks.
and of cos its best to watch him play!
hahahha.


friday,06 august 2004
had a bball match after school at lakeside.
we lost like,77-12.
hahahha.
the other team was so pro man..
we were like idiots running around.
okk..i was like an idiot running around.
and when i tried to get the ball from the other team,i tripped on the girls foot and fell down!
HAHHAHHA.
i was so stupid man.
so i kinda sprained my ankle and the side of my bumm hurt a little.
the girl was really nice and asked me if i needed an ice-pack and if i was okk.
haiyoh.
its damn terrible to play bball man.
isaac and tae kept laughing at me and they kept screaming his name.
hmm.
or maybe everyone was screaming his name.
thanks goodness he wasnt there or else i wouldve been so damned embarrassed!
went to buy some stuffs with erin,ning and agnes.
then went to eat steamboat with ning,erin,agnes and pam.
it was sooooo good!
we finished eating at 2200 and there were so few pple left in the restaurant.
played pool at pot black after dinner.
think i played quite a few good games hahha.
was missing him sooooooooooooooo damn much.
dont know why also.
thanks to every single person who listens to me whine about and go crazy over him(:


i realised that i havent blogged much about him.
and that i cant forget him so easily.
i jes miss him sooooo much and think of him so much now.
sigh.
i wish you were here.
i wish you were mine.


is this entry quite long?
hahahha.
missing everyone in singapore!!
about another 4 months and ill be back!
take care everyone~

♥ 23:30;

didnt go to school again today.
was supposed to but argued with my mom to stay home this morning.
my cold is almost gone but my cough is bad now.
and was so damn tired cos i only managed to get to sleep at 0530 in the morning.
hopefully ill be able to sleep early tonight.


went through some of kenneths jc pix and i feel..jealous?
cos i never experienced the first 3 months of jc and i wont ever experience jc life-or poly life.
i think school here would be much better if we had our own classes instead of tags.
tag is so bloody useless.
a fucking waste of time!
sigh.
i think with classes you really feel like theres somewhere in the school that you belong.
makes your time in school much more enjoyable.
wheres my claaassssss?
i want my own class..


should i..or should i not?
i dont want things to be weird between us.
and yet ill come to regret it if i dont say it.
i have nothing to lose..do i?

♥ 23:03;

screw this

why is life so bloody unfair?!
i mean i know that life jes is,but there should be reason to justify it!
why do some pple always-or most of the time-get what they want,while others hardly or never get what they want?
its jes so damn fucking unfair.
i dont ask for much so why cant i get something i want once in a while?
thats not too much to ask,is it?
arrrgh!


didnt go to school today cos i was feeling real tired and kinda sick.
oh and the you nowadays is a different guy hahhas.
new one already.
but..
i dont know.
feel like jes forgetting about him.
its not worth all the shit and brain space and everything.
i never get what i want anyways.
argh getting a headache already.


i want you so badly,and yet i want to push you away.
far far away at the back of my mind into non-existance..

♥ 21:21;

im supposed to be sleeping but here i am typing away.
dont really feel like sleeping yet.
prolly cos i woke up late.
didnt do much work only read 'before the first death'.
im almost halfway through which is good considering i jes started today[sunday].


feeling a little sad now.
well not totally sad but a feeling which i cant describe.
every day that im away from singapore is yet another day that im being pulled apart from friends there.
we lead so different lives now.
so many pple are complaining of PW,long school hours and tons and tons of work.
im complaining about shops closing early and the inconvenience of getting around.
what we experience is so different and ill never know what their jc or poly life is like in singapore.
ive missed out on so many things and events with friends back home.
sigh.
i dont really know how to express what im feeling inside.
i mean life here is good with school being slack and all but theres jes something missing.
and i guess thats good close friends..
i think im starting to ramble.


things might be better if i had you.
i might be happier.
then again,maybe not.


but i still wish i had you.

♥ 00:22;