im going crazy

was going through everyone's blogs, and realised that most people were updating today
so thought i should do that too
and i can't believe how fast time passes
i thought the 911 attack was jes last year, and that this was the first year memorial
then i realised that it's already been two years
man ..
how time flies.

life's damn fucked up at the moment
this fucking "break" isn't what it was cut out to be, man
why in the world are we studying so hard ?
to get a job a few years down the road, and live the exact - if not tougher - same life as we do now ?
this jes fucking sucks

bet those of you reading my entry probably won't believe that i actually studied this week
*haha*
but can't help it
i hafta study, whether i like it or not
can't help that i'm a masochist
i wanna get into a good school, get a well-paid job and suffer with all the deadlines and workloads all over again
it'll be soooo fun
ya.

and while everyone's worrying over studies and everything, someone actually has the time to talk about love and all that.
i mean, why think about all that at a time like this ?
didn't know she actually even felt the loss of it all
thought it was all jes an elaborate scheme
*haha*
and i think that even if she had treasured it and not wrecked it, the outcome would have been the same
meet a better one .. ?
maybe ..
jes maybe ..
*haha*
i feel like i'm being damn mean
but so what ?
i have to find an outlet for my madness that's been built over the past few days
and,
if YOU think that i'm jes shooting my mouth off, without fully understanding what exactly is going on, fine
i don't care.
i'm jes writing my own opinion
YOU probably won't even read this entry, cos the next time you log on will be months later
i don't care about what you think of me.
bloody faker.

can't remember what else i wanted to write
but this release of energy has been good
*haha*
gotta get back to studying, cos i wanna fufil my masochist dream

♥ 18:43;